A sanctified female space has been invaded by men – Susan Dalgety

Giving birth is one of the most momentous occasions in any woman’s life, whether she is an earth mother, gently breathing her way through her third set of contractions, or a teenage single mum, terrified for her life.

I was the latter when I gave birth, alone, to my first child, now a father of three himself.

I had some support from a cheerful, but brisk, midwife, but I had no loving partner to mop my fevered brow, rub my aching back, or order me a Chinese takeaway when I began to recover from the trauma of a 12-hour labour.

And it was 24 hours before my parents could make the 50-mile journey to meet their new grandson and give me a loving hug. But I didn’t mind. The other women in the post-natal ward welcomed me into the mysterious world of motherhood with well-meant, but terrifying, tales of infected stitches, constipation and babies who wouldn’t sleep.

I enjoyed the brief sisterhood between us, and felt almost ready to make the transformation from carefree student to single mum by the time I left the safety of the hospital, their good wishes still ringing in my ears.

Easy-going approach to squatters

I am not quite sure how I would have felt, however, if the ward had been invaded by burly young blokes, sprawled across the beds next to mine munching on pizza while loading photographs of their first-born on to Facebook.

Or how I would have coped tip-toeing past someone’s snoring husband in the middle of the night, praying he didn’t wake up to a glimpse of my post-partum body.

And I most definitely would not have been relaxed enough to practice breast-feeding while a bearded stranger dozed a few feet away from me.

Sadly, this is now the prospect facing pregnant women in the Lothians, thanks to the current trend in Edinburgh Royal Infirmary, where new fathers have taken over that most sanctified of female spaces, the maternity ward.

The – male – nurse director of NHS Lothian defends the hospital’s easy-going approach to the squatters by saying some women like having their partners there to support them at this special time.

I am sure some women do like having company in the hours after giving birth, but their comfort should not be at the expense of others.

If a woman is lucky – or ill – enough to have a single room, then by all means, she should be able to invite her partner to stay the night. But the women on the main postnatal ward should be left in peace.

Most new mothers are able to go home within 24 hours of giving birth. It is surely not too much to ask that for that short time, they and their partners consider the comfort of the other women who have just given birth, rather than their own selfish desire to spend every moment together.

After all, the first lesson any new parent needs to learn is that their needs no longer come first.