John Gibson: A hairy question for Philip

The chairman of a community group in Kidderminster, kid you not, was introduced to Prince Philip with outrageously spiked hair and a safety pin adorning an ear (not Philip’s, silly, the exhibitionist’s), which suggests you can get away with virtual murder mingling with Royalty.

‘‘Are you the last of the Mohicans?’’ Philip asked.

This attention-seeker would never have got past the polis at Holyrood Palace’s gates.

Time’s up, Tony

One of those long-past-its-sell-by-date programmes on TV (don’t jump the gun and pick Pointless), Time Team will be dead and buried before long if I’m to believe these welcome rumours.

Tony Robinson has done 20 series and reportedly got 15 grand per programme.

Crowded out

Frightening, the immigration factor. The population of England and Wales surged 7.1 per cent to 56.1 million in last year’s census. Figures for Scotland bound to be every bit as mind-blowing.

You’d never have guessed, taking a Lothians bus. The NHS can barely cope as it is. God help us all.

Kofi break

. . . Not another one, Kofi. Have you no shame? Kofi Annan has come up with yet another plan to end the shambles in Syria. These plans of yours, Kofi, keep you on the world stage and, without exception, none of them works. Give over! What are they paying you for this? Ever thought of setting up house in Syria?