John Gibson: What if a toddler takes a tumble?

But if you want my opinion – doubt if you do, particularly – yes, it is cruel.

Not only cruel. Risky, too, this habit dads have of carrying on their shoulders their toddlers, its legs akimbo and round their necks, unsupported. A serious head or back injury waiting to happen. Talk to the Sick Kids about it.

About babies and facing forwards, it’s recorded in Scotland’s national archive that my doting mum always, in the pram, had me facing her. Not a pretty sight, you’re thinking. Must have been my curls and the sunshine of my smile.

Collision course

Cheery chappies, these smarty Nasa scientists. We’d enjoy watching them with their telescopes stuck up their backsides.

A 1600 feet-wide asteroid could collide with Earth in 2036. It would be messy but chances of that happening are 250,000 to one. Talk to Ladbrokes about it.

Parent power

Is it worth it? The cost of raising a child to the age of 21 is £350,000. Accordingly, researchers (where would we be without them?) are telling us, parents are saying one is enough.

Consider, as you watch your flock fiddle with their mobys, PlayStations and laptops. Brood for thought.

Afterwords . .

. . . Woody Allen on his wallet: “Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”