Parents, if you’re thinking of calling a hostage negotiator, do this first – Hayley Matthews

If you’d told me I’d have been getting advice from a hostage negotiator on BBC Radio Scotland during the week, I’d have given you a strange look.

But if I’m honest any advice is welcome just now because never have my parenting skills been put to the test like they have just now. I’ll take any advice, tips, help offered.

I don’t know if I’m doing it right, I don’t know how to feel and I get quite stressed at many things that I have no control over. I have to check myself so that my frustrations, worries and upset doesn’t spill on to the kids.

It’s difficult but I had a little ace up my sleeve that I’ve spoken about before – the Scottish Government’s Parent Club. I’ve used the site before for tips on dealing with the general parenting challenges so it’s been a blessing to see them tailor the site for our current situation. They’re offering some tips on a wide range of hurdles that parents are facing just now, from coping with our own mental well-being through to challenging behaviour from children and I bet I’m not the only one experiencing both of those just now.

During the week I joined in on their #parentclubtips campaign, getting involved on social media posting pictures of our family doing some things that have been getting us through the last few months like spending time in the garden and just chilling out. It’s been really interesting to read other parents’ tips – the majority of the advice on parentclub.scot is from other parents, in the same situation. Now if we could just organise a wine club through it then we’d be sorted, but seriously, it’s been a welcomed tool.

The tips and advice I’ve found most useful are:

1, Remember we’re all in this together – this is new to everyone. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

2, Ensure to rest and take it one day at a time. Don’t worry about trying to be superhuman.

3, Keep in touch with loved ones. Video calls are the next best thing to meeting up, so why not try that?

4, Keep up a routine. Your daily life might be different for a while, but it is still good to have a routine. This includes getting a good night’s sleep. Going to bed and getting up around the same time each day can help your emotional well-being.

I’ve also found something as silly as making the bed as soon as I’m up gives me a sense of motivation, which can be difficult in times like these.

I’ve been reading a lot of tips on keeping children calm, how to encourage good behaviour and ideas to keep kids busy and happy. Even the section on how to chat to our kids about coronavirus is simple and effective. I need to remind myself that they know and feel a difference just now so it helps for them to know what’s going on – well, a child-friendly version anyway can help.

I’ve been getting Harris involved in things like shopping lists, word searches and most importantly of all – watering the plants, finishing with a water fight because it’s important to have fun. We’ve been having our share of shouting and arguments too and I’m not saying that I’m winning at this lockdown business but I have been using a few tools that have been helping me along the way.

The parent club is a free service for all parents and you never know, you might be able to help other mums and dads out by giving out your tips too.

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