Soap-dodgers! Don’t just wash your hands – Hayley Matthews

Having had two C-sections, I’m not very good at holding in the wee. Cue the great weather, lots of water and it means I ain’t going far.

Still, adamant that I’ll get out for a walk with the kids sometimes means I need to plan in advance or jump on a bus home – yes, it’s that bad. It’s a Matthews thing because everyone on my side of the family can’t walk the length of themselves without needing a “single fish” (I love a bit rhyming slang).

So now I’ve explained why I had to get the bus back from Portobello during the week when out for a walk with the boys.

But now let me tell you why I’d rather crouch in the sea for some relief than jump on a 26 up the road – it’s called hygiene, or lack of it. The soap-dodgers are out, and they are ripe in this weather.

Now, I always try and keep an open mind on most matters but the not washing, in the heat, whilst on in the middle of a pandemic, is different. Surely hygiene is a must!

I could see my eight-year-old’s face squint as a man in his 50s got on the bus with a sweat-dripping T-shirt that had pinged way above his hairy, pasty, flaky belly button.

We could smell him before he even sat down and yes, you guessed it, he sat right behind us!

Now maybe he’s been really busy the last few days but too busy to wash, and in this heat? I reckon I could go four weeks without washing and still smell better than this guy did.

So I’m begging everyone who’s using public transport whilst we’re still in a pandemic, now that we’ve bought all the hand soap and learnt how to wash our hands, give your under oxters a good wash too!

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