Well shiver my timbers, Isobel’s been Kidnapped - Fiona Duff

Well she’s only gone and done it again – that is, take a classic book, mash it up with some pop songs, a splash of irreverence and a light scattering of Tunnocks.

This time it is Robert Louis Stevenson’s Kidnapped that is getting the McArthuir makeover and the critics are loving it.

Of course, I have known for a while that the show would be coming to the Lyceum this month, but just call me lastminute.com because I only got around to booking tickets yesterday.

It’s on for two weeks from April 11 so I thought the following Tuesday would be a good time to go. Well, it seems as though I wasn’t the only one with that thought as the only three seats I could find together are in the Upper Circle.

It’s not that I am a theatre snob and have to be in the front row of the Dress Circle, where many critics like to perch their backsides. It’s just that my eyesight isn’t too great and my hearing is definitely on the dodgy side.

The further I am from the stage the more likely I am to miss some crucial plot twist or witty remarks made by the cast.

It’s bad enough asking my husband to repeat something I missed when watching television, but don’t reckon it would go down well asking my friends sitting in the theatre what was just said on stage.

I suppose I should perhaps go and get my hearing tested, but the problem is that it may be that my husband might be correct.

They could tell me that I need a hearing aid to go with my glasses. I suppose it’s just a problem with getting on in life.

So if you are at the Lyceum to see Kidnapped I’ll be the one in the audience with binoculars and a hearing trumpet clamped to my lug.