Hayley Matthews: Wifeys crossed a red line – so they got the vickies

Yes, it is something pretty serious, something quite outrageous and unthinkable – it’s the parent and child space pilferers. For years I’ve been holding my tongue when I see a carefree, too-much-time-on-their-hands, overly energetic, speeding, self-centred, oblivious socialite park in the ­forbidden space that they have ­absolutely no right to use.

No, you don’t get to park in these spaces when you have a child and they’re 56 years old and at work, all because you can’t be bothered walking 20 steps to the supermarket. No, you also don’t get to park in these spaces just because you have a child’s car seat in the back, even though the child is at their gran’s, and you certainly do not get to park in that space just because you bloody well feel like it when you’re nipping to the shops on the way home from work.

Why you might ask? Because they are for people with children. You know, those folk called ­parents with kids that they have to get in and out of the car? Yes them! It isn’t because we can’t be bothered walking that extra 100 yards to the supermarket, or because we’re short on time or even struggling to carry two kids and shopping. It is purely because getting a child or a baby in and out of the car requires you to open the doors fully, hence needing more room in between the cars.

Anybody who has the ability to receive information to their brain must surely be able to understand this by now, especially as it’s down in black and white, just in case it wasn’t clear before. So please spread the word.

My reason for taking up 600 words this week to have a rant about this is because of an incident in Aldi’s car park. A woman so completely unremorseful over being caught parking in the forbidden space that I blew my top and had an apoplectic outburst. The pressure cooker that is Hayley on a bad day was steaming about Aldi in the hope that I’d find the driver of the squint black Kia that had been abandoned diagonally. It was so close to my car that I had to go back to buy a tin opener just to get in to my car (well almost).

Just when I thought all hope was lost, two wee wifeys having a right good natter got in the car (she’d parked diagonally so that she could get to her car, but I couldn’t get baby Oryn in to my car) and toot toot, like a steam engine, I chapped the window ready to throw some insults.

Asking her if she knew she was meant to have a child with her to use the space, I got a very sarcastic “aye”, so I pointed out that it was a funny-looking child she had with her (roughly late 60s) and let rip on her inability to park in an extra large space with lines so blatant they can be seen from the moon. Her friend started laughing, which made me even worse. So they both got the vickies as they slinked out of the car park.

So be warned, for all the renegades out there, if I catch you in one of these spaces when you shouldn’t be, stuff will go down because I’m on the lookout to put things right.